Evaluating Your Relationship for the Long Term – Is he really the one?

Photo Credit: Rich Hawman, Elan Images

What makes for a great date and a great time may not be all you need for a long term great marriage. Check out these factors to see if your relationship has all the right stuff:

HUMOR

Does your guy make you laugh and lift your spirits?  A sense of humor can help you through some tough times and difficulties. 

CARES ABOUT WHAT YOU THINK and VICE VERSA

Does he really listen to you and consider your feelings?  Do you feel comfortable talking to him about problems that you have.  Can you trust him in difficult situations?  Does he show empathy, sincerity, and caring?   Good communication skills goes both ways.  Can you discuss your differences without becoming defensive or sarcastic?  Do you work together to find a solution?

BALANCE

Being together 100% of the time is not necessarily a good thing.  It’s important for each party in the relationship to participate at their own interests, sports, and hobbies.  It’s all about proper balance – a zealous personal interest might result in too much separation and less focus on your relationship. 

SHARING

And now just the opposite.  Do you share interests and hobbies?  Do you both like to travel, bike, read…whatever?  While opposites attractive, you need some type of “common interests” to keep the relationship alive and interesting.

EMOTIONAL MATURITY

Are you both ready to take responsibility in this new relationship to make it the best it can be?  Maturity in a relationship calls for modesty, some humility, and a balance self ego.  It’s now about “we” rather than “me”.    

If you scored a 5 – say “YES” march down that aisle!!!  You found a winner!

 

How are You Going to Purchase Your Wedding Dress?

 

Today let’s talk about how you are going to purchase your wedding dress.    Why are dresses so much pricier when they’re meant for walking down the aisle?    Buying a wedding dress is not like buying a pair of boots or that new phone.  It’s an emotional purchase – after all, all eyes will be on you – you’re the star of the day.

So now that you have your ring, have you started the process of finding “the dress”?  Have you visited any of our great local bridal shops and tried on dresses?  Do you love the experience of sipping champagne, having your best friends and family with you, as you are trying on dresses?   Shopping for a wedding dress can be equal parts amazing and totally stressful.  And, trying on several dresses for a few weekends can wear you out.  Designer dresses are expensive so do you feel that going that route is stretching your budget?  After all, it’s just one day and there are other expenses like setting up a household that might need your funds.

And then, are you considering an “online” purchase.  Places like online retailers, Ebay, Craig’s List all have dresses that start even below $100.  You need to be very careful when shopping online, to make sure you don’t get ripped off.  That’s not to say every online store/contact is a scam, but you do need to be careful.  Plus, almost all wedding dresses need to be altered to fit correctly, and you will need to line up a good experienced seamstress.   If you have ordered your dress and received it, was it to your satisfaction?

So, we really want to hear from you how it’s going in your search for your wedding dress even if you have already purchased it.  Tell us what you have done, has it worked for you, and give us some feedback as to the pros and cons in your situation.  Even if you have not yet purchased your gown, tell us your concerns.   We want to share with our readers your knowledge and experience.  All comments will be posted and all people who send us their comments will receive a FREE Ticket to the Harvest Bridal Show.  Help us help you.  Send all replies to Bride@BrideStLouis.com.

How to Choose your Wedding Photographer

The photographs from your wedding day will be a timeless memento of a truly special day. Wedding photographers can be very expensive, focus on a number of different styles, and offer a variety of levels of service. All the bridal magazines say to look at some basics like does the photographer work more classic style with a shot list or more in a photojournalistic style where they take just a few posed pictures, trying to tell the story of your wedding in a normal naturalistic style.   About 90% of the photographers today, do the more photojournalistic approach….so there needs to be more than just that to make your decision.

The PPA (Professional’s Photographer Association) recommends that you interview several photographers.  Look at samples – complete weddings if possible.  Do they specialize in a specific style – more artsy, more funk, more black & white?  Do they have a variety of shots – far away, full body shots, close ups; do they provide just basic “typical” shots like cutting the cake or do they also shoot special moments and emotions?

Do you feel comfortable with that photographer?  They will be spending most of the day with you and you want to develop good communication skills and feel comfortable with them.

One note – photography and videography are two distinctly different fields, both requiring extensive training to produce high-quality results.  Depending on your budget, you may want both photo and video coverage of your wedding – totally separate services.

So – here’s my question to you past brides and current future brides.  How much of your decision is based on price, reputation, or experience?  How did you find your photographer?  Family, friends, google search?   If you hired your photographer for your upcoming wedding or if your wedding has occurred, why did you hire him/her as a photographer?   Share with us your thought and ideas.  Send to bride@bridestlouis.com.

Some things to consider before you say “I Do”

 

Before you get married……

 

If you want to live together “happily ever after” there are a few things you should know about each other before you tie the knot.

First – Know Who You Are

Know who you are and what you want from life before getting married.  If you want to focus on a career, have kids, travel a lot….be sure to talk about these things prior to getting married.  You don’t have to agree on everything.  You just need to understand what each of you want and expect in a marriage.

Second – Know that you can’t change him (her)

The truth is what you see is what you get.  People will change, but only if THEY want to.

What’s his financial status?

Sharing space has its own challenges.  Sharing expenses can lead to hurt feelings and bad relationships.   Be sure to discuss together how you plan to handle finances together.   This is where total honesty is important.  Don’t hide your credit problems from each other.  Additionally you will want to have a clear picture of what each person desires – a nice home, a new car, etc.  Are you a saver?  Does he spend like crazy?  Be sure to acknowledge your partner’s goals and bad habits when it comes to making and spending money.

Knowing your partner’s priorities can help eliminate squabbles after you are married and lead to a long term, loving, and caring for each other relationship.  Having someone to cuddle up and knowing there’s someone who loves you no matter what is what marriage is all about.

Third –

A good marriage must be created.

In marriage the “little” things are the big things.

It is never being too old to hold hands.

It is remembering to say, ”I love you” at least once a day.

It is never going to sleep angry.

It is standing together and facing the world.

It is speaking words of appreciation, and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.

It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.

It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow.

It is a common search for the good and the beautiful.

It is not only marrying the right person — it is being the right partner

 

Brides – Submit your Most Disliked Cheesy, Pinterest Type Posed Wedding Photos


Over the years I have talked to many wedding professional photographers who hate shooting those “cheesy” Pinterest type photos.  The new trend is more candid and storytelling images, but that doesn’t mean these “posed” shots have disappeared.   Perhaps it’s the bridal party running down a hill, or it’s the bridal party jumping in the air.   What’s your most disliked photo?  Submit your photos to bride@bridestlouis.com and we will share them with you in the next few weeks.  We will take the top ten and allow you to VOTE for your most disliked at our April 23, 2017 BRIDAL SHOW, My Dream Wedding – Illinois, at the Gateway Classic Car Expo Center in O’Fallon, ILLINOIS.

What Does Love Mean to You?

February is all about LOVE, with Valentine’s Day and all.  So, I thought I would post the lyrics to Weird Al Yankovic’s  “If That Isn’t Love” for romantic inspiration.  Send us your comments and photos and tell us “What does Love Mean to You”.  The best responses and photos will be posted here and on our Facebook page www.Facebook.com/BrideStLouis.  So, what does “Love Mean to You?”

“If That Isn’t Love”

ooh yeah
oh
i’m your shelter from the storm
you’ll know I’ll always have your back
I’ll even let you warm your freezing hands inside my butt crack
I never get out my leaf blower when Oprah is on
and when you’re telling me about your feelings I try not to yawn
and when we’re at parties I don’t talk about your spastic bladder
when you’re cleaning the gutters on the roof I hold the ladder

and if that isn’t love
if that isn’t love
if that isn’t love
i don’t know what love is
nanananananana nanananano i guess i don’t know
nanananananana
ahhhh listen now

there’s a microscopic bit of milk left in the refrigerator
i coulda finished it off but i quit in case you want a tiny little sip for later
and if you cut the cheese then maybe i’ll wink and say the dog’s to blame
and i’ll make sure to call you baby everytime i forget your name
i’ll even tell you girl when you start looking fat
‘cuz all your so-called friends will probably neglect to mention that

and if that isn’t love
if that isn’t love
if that isn’t love 
i don’t know what love is
nanananananana nananana well then I don’t know
nananannananna
oh no
even though you make me sit through Mamma Mia!
well I still adore you
i’ll kiss you even if you have omelettes for breakfast
and i can’t stand omelettes
after I take a bath
if its still warm i’ll leave the water in there for you
i’ll give you my word
you’re so beautiful you make a glorious sunset look like a big fat turd
everytime I see you trying to lift some really heavy thing
you can always count on me to help by saying something encouraging
if you get drunk and pass out i’ll never sharpie up your face
and I don’t wipe my nose on your couch even though that’s a super convenient place
i totally support every idiotic thing you do
and i almost never pretend you’re someone else when i’m making out with you
and if that isn’t love
if that isn’t love
if that isn’t love
i don’t know what love is
nanananananana no i don’t know what love is
nanananananana well I don’t know what love is
I don’t know what love is