Personalizing Your Vows

Wedding Planning by BrideStLouis.com

 

Wedding vows today no longer necessarily follow the standard “love, honor, cherish…” verbiage.  Couples use their vows to express their feelings and commitments to one another.

Here are some examples:

I, (Bride/Groom), take you (Groom/Bride), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.

I, (name), take you, (name), to be my [opt: lawfully wedded] (husband/wife), my constant friend, my faithful partner and my love from this day forward. In the presence of God, our family and friends, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live.

I (name), take you (name) to be my (husband/wife), my partner in life and my one true love. I will cherish our union and love you more each day than I did the day before. I will trust you and respect you, laugh with you and cry with you, loving you faithfully through good times and bad, regardless of the obstacles we may face together. I give you my hand, my heart, and my love, from this day forward for as long as we both shall live.

In the presence of God and these our friends I take thee to be my husband/wife, promising with Divine assistance to be unto thee a loving and faithful husband/wife so long as we both shall live.

I, (name), take you, (name), to be my friend, my lover, the (mother/father) of my children and my (husband/wife). I will be yours in times of plenty and in times of want, in times of sickness and in times of health, in times of joy and in times of sorrow, in times of failure and in times of triumph. I promise to cherish and respect you, to care and protect you, to comfort and encourage you, and stay with you, for all eternity.

I, [name], choose you [name] to be my [husband/wife], to respect you in your successes and in your failures, to care for you in sickness and in health, to nurture you, and to grow with you throughout the seasons of life.

I, (name), take you, (name), to be my partner, loving what I know of you, and trusting what I do not yet know. I eagerly anticipate the chance to grow together, getting to know the (man/woman) you will become, and falling in love a little more every day. I promise to love and cherish you through whatever life may bring us.

And some addition readings might include:

Today we come together not to mark the start of a relationship, but to acknowledge and strengthen a bond that already exists.  Marriage is a commitment to the best that (name) and (name) can find and develop within each offer.   It offers opportunities for sharing and growth no other human relationship can equal, a physical and emotional joining that is promised for a lifetime.  A wife and a husband are each other’s best friend, confidant, lover, teacher, listener, and critic.

Marriage is the ongoing process of shaping and reshaping your lives together. It is the commitment to always listen to each other, to respect and value the other as your equal, to be honest with each other and to treat each other with kindness and thoughtfulness.

When two people pledge to love and care for each other in marriage, they create a spirit unique to themselves, which binds them closer than any spoken or written words.  Marriage is a promise which takes a lifetime to fulfill.

Today, as I give myself to you, my commitment is strong and forever.  All that I am and all that I have, I offer you in love and joy.  Because of you, I laugh, I smile, and I dare to dream.  Today I fully and unconditionally give you my all.  To be by your side through thick and thin.  I vow to hold you when we go to sleep and kiss you when we wake up.  As I give you my hand to hold so I give you my life to keep.

Work with your officiant as he or she may have specific words that you cannot deviate from for a religious ceremony of he/she may have additional samples of vows.  Feel free to add your own embellishments, loving words, and inside jokes.

14 Snippets of Ideas to Help When You are Writing Your Own Vows.

Writing Your Own Vows

If you and your partner have decided to write your own vows, and I hope you do, here are a few snippets of ideas to help you put into words what’s in your heart.  Be sure to write about what you love about your future spouse, and identify why you want to marry him/her.

  • Thank you for allowing me to walk my own path and become the best person I can be.
  • Thank you for helping me achieve my own personal dreams.
  • Thank you for teaching me to be a better, kinder person that has learned to  ….
  • I desire to make your life easier and better and share the good times and bad times.
  • Love Forever – That’s my promise.  You are my life.  I can’t imagine what my life would be without out you.  When you came into my world, my life began.
  • Together we will nap in the sun, walk in the  park, smile at our silly antics and indulge in the sweetness of the moment.
  • I promise to walk by your side hand in hand and be your partner for life.
  • I am grateful that you love me.
  • As we grow older together, I will grow in appreciation of all you do for me.
  • You are supportive, tender, loving, strong, dependable, kind, patient, understanding and most of all, you are my friend.
  • You are a remarkable person who has taught me so much.
  • I will be there to cheer you when times are tough.
  • I believe in you and love you and will support you in everything you reach for.
  • Let us travel the road of life together.  It will be our adventure to explore, taste and touch.  Let’s live life together every day.

The Ketubah – A Cherished Tradition

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In many Jewish weddings the ketubah is an integral part of the traditional Jewish marriage.  A ketubah is a printed document that outlines the rights and responsibilities of the groom in relation to the bride.  The ketubah explains the basic material, conjugal and moral responsibilities of the husband to his wife and it is signed by the groom and two witnesses and given to the bride during the wedding ceremony.  (Halachically, according to Jewish law, only two witnesses need to sign the ketubah and see the groom give the ketubah to the bride and she must accept it.)

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Its purpose was to protect the woman’s rights in case of divorce or death.  Ever since the 14th century it has become tradition to decorate the ketubah as artwork and hang it in the home as a keepsake.

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A few blogs back I talked about the potential of writing your own vows for your marriage ceremony.  I love this process of professing to each other how you feel and why you want to marry your partner.  Wouldn’t it be a wonderful thing to have these vows printed and hung prominently in your home?  Every time you feel angry or hurt, look at your vows in the framed art work and reflect on what’s really important.

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These examples of ketubahs are from http://www.ketubah.com and you don’t need to have a Jewish wedding to order one of these for your wedding vows.  They can customize the text and they have hundreds of exquisite examples on line.  I warn you, it will be hard to choose from so many beautiful choices.  Traditional, modern, vibrant, understated…if you can dream it up, you can find it here.  For more information, talk with Aliyah.  She is available by email aliyah@ketubah.com,  and by phone at 888-538-8224.  Also check out http://blog.ketubah.com for more information about Jewish weddings.

 

 

 

Writing your own Wedding Vows

Reading vows

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Not too many years ago the wedding couple traditionally said nothing more than “I do.”    Today, many couples choose to write their own vows and it can be very touching, memorable and dramatic.   It’s a more personal message between the bride and groom especially when they share their emotions and feelings with each other.

If you are considering going this route, and I hope you do, make sure to clear it with your officiate and discuss it with your future spouse to make sure everyone is on board with the idea.  Some religions may require you to use traditional wording and/or certain phrases.   You can choose to write your vows that you will say together as a couple, or you can choose to each write your own vows.

As you draft some ideas think about what is the single greatest thing about the person you are going to marry.  What do you want to promise to your marriage partner?  Some start with, “You are my best friend, the one I want to spend my life with.  I promise (or vow) to love and respect you, laugh with you, cry with you, and support you in all your endeavors.”   Feel free to quote from poetry, or books and even romantic movies.  Jot down words and phrases that capture your feelings.

Keep your vows short but full of meaning.  Finally, practice them before the big day.  While there is no rule again reading your vows, a heartfelt delivery will have an emotional impact on your partner and people witnessing the ceremony.

Your wedding vows are one of the most important parts of the ceremony, so take some time to speak your heart.